Ugly Love – Colleen Hoover

The moment I participate in a trend, the trend goes away. I have never seen so many TikToks about how Colleen Hoover’s books aren’t the best. Am I late to the party? I might be, I do however find that I do not care what others say and I need to figure it out for myself. Frankly, Colleen Hoover is one of those authors that is very popular online, on YouTube and TikTok. I don’t watch any of these creators religiously but they do pass my  ‘for you and ‘home’ pages. When I visit the bookstore her books are also always on display. It ends with us being super popular at that time and it was next to Ugly Love. I read the little blurbs of both of these books. I thought I would enjoy Ugly Love the best but bought both books. When I visit the bookstore I always get a coffee at the little cafe they have as I do think supporting the bookstore is important. Even though I never sought out the information, I was influenced to try to read Colleen Hoover’s books. I usually go with my gut so I knew I had to read Ugly Love first, as I pick up books that speak to me. Let’s get into it.

Disclaimer
This book talks about traumatic topics (e.g. infant death, car accidents) if you have been traumatized in any way related to these topics. Please be careful when reading, there is no shame in passing up this book. In addition, this is an adult book for adults and does contain sexual material although not too explicit, if you are uncomfortable with reading this, I recommend reading another book.

The book in short
When Tate Collins meets airline pilot Miles Archer, she knows it isn’t love at first sight. They wouldn’t even go so far as to consider themselves friends. The only thing Tate and Miles have in common is an undeniable mutual attraction. Once their desires are out in the open, they realize they have the perfect set-up. He doesn’t want love, she doesn’t have time for love, so that just leaves the sex. Their arrangement could be surprisingly seamless, as long as Tate can stick to the only two rules Miles has for her.

Never ask about the past.
Don’t expect a future.
They think they can handle it, but realize almost immediately they can’t handle it at all.
Hearts get infiltrated.
Promises get broken.
Rules get shattered.
Love gets ugly.
I got this information here.

My thoughts
This was the first book I have ever read from Colleen Hoover and I was a bit apprehensive, mostly because everyone says her books are so good. Which doesn’t mean it isn’t just that I shouldn’t be too excited about it. I started reading and then I stopped, and it took me a bit to pick it up again. Colleen Hoover’s books are very much a slow burn for me. It takes a while for me to get into it but once I do, I cry.

In most books, I identify with at least one character, sometimes two. Sometimes none but only parts of the story. This identification has nothing to do with someone’s age, gender, or looks. In this book, I quite quickly identified with Miles. I had a hard time loving Tate but I loved Miles when he first walked into the story I had this soft spot for him. I thought Tate was critical of Miles in a way that made me feel she wasn’t that nice. In chapter one when Miles is crying about Rachel, I thought, ‘She must have died or broken up with him or something terrible has happened for him to feel that bad’ and then Tate goes ‘If he feels this bad I shudder to think what she is feeling. Excuse me? For all we know this Rachel could have been an abusive manipulative girl who ruined his life. This isn’t the case but what a rude thing of Tate to assume that Miles is the bad guy in this scenario. When I was reading I found that audiobooks sometimes truly are better. The spacing of Miles’ POV was spaced in the middle of the page, sort of like a poem. But it didn’t necessarily read like a poem thus it was just annoying. I got used to it but I would have rather been spared the experience.

Miles is so upfront about how he feels about dating what he wants out of life and what he expects from their arrangement. He gives her the space to back out of the deal. And Tate just lies. She tells him she also doesn’t want anything more but she clearly does. There is nothing wrong with wanting more but girl you cannot hold it against this guy when you get hurt if he gives you exactly what you signed up for. I understand where she is coming from. She likes this guy and she would rather have him this way than not of all. Here is the thing Tate is a very silly girl because she thinks that lying will get her the boy in the end and that he will change for her (and he will because it is a book). But here is the thing… We all know her, she is our neighbor, our sister, our best friend and sometimes sadly, she is the girl in the mirror. Isn’t this what we all want to believe? He doesn’t want to fall in love, he has never wanted a relationship he only wants sex but we think we can change him, we can change his mind. She can because she lives in a book, but we cannot. In these books girls are the exception to the rule, they are the exception when we are not. We are the rule, the whole reason the rule exists is because of girls like us. If a boy tells us ‘I am not going to fall in love with you he is in fact not going to fall in love with you.

Later on, we find out that Miles doesn’t look at her when they have sex, and honestly, if my friend came to me and told me about this boy she was FWB with and he didn’t look at her during sex I would tell her to run. I am sorry but this is silly, Tate honey you deserve so much better. Why are you putting up with that? He makes her feel like shit. It is not even that he treats her like utter garbage which he does sometimes. But he does make her feel like literal garbage and I do understand why she does this because she likes him. Where are her friends? My conclusion? She doesn’t have friends, otherwise, they would have told her about herself. Which is so sad.

I loved this ending, I was crying it was healing bits of my heart. But for girls like Tate, for girls like you and me. I would want this book to not end like that. I want Tate to learn that this scheming and scamming and this lying to a boy isn’t going to get you what you want. There are girls out there, maybe it is you, that is the same as Tate. She picks this from a boy, she is treated like shit and she is somewhat okay with being made to feel that way. But this boy you are in love with, he isn’t Miles he doesn’t live in a book. He isn’t going to marry you and I am sorry to say but it’s important to note. I love their story but no one should have put up with Miles.

Life isn’t as it is in books, relationships are not book relationships but they also shouldn’t always be. The thing is though, I do love Miles. Miles though has a kink for inappropriate relationships. It’s the step-sibling and the sister of his best friend. We learn what happens with Rachel. We understand why Miles is so sad, my heart broke for Miles. Miles has been dealt a horrible hand but the way he goes about it is just not right. I confess I recorded my thoughts on the book sometimes when I do not have a piece of paper to write them down and I said ‘Miles’ dad is a cow, and Rachel’s mum isn’t much better’. First of all, they get married like they are in their 20s with no care in the world. You can have two eighteen-year-olds in the home. At least talk to them. What sort of parenting is this? Besides this, your wife was dying and you got with this woman and you moved this woman and her daughter into the house. I am sorry can this boy not catch a break? It was good in the end that he liked her because that was a horrible decision on Dad’s part. He has the audacity to be angry that the girl is pregnant and then the woman wants to get her daughter an abortion. Now I am not going to go into the abortion debate in this BUT Rachel does not want to get an abortion. She doesn’t even ask her daughter. Worst parents of the year, how about supporting your children’s choices even if it isn’t what you wanted for them? The dad is so angry with Miles and I do not get why? 1. He is stepping up to be the dad. 2. He is your son you have known Rachel and her mum for two seconds be a parent first.

You know what they say about a donkey. How a donkey doesn’t bump against the same stone twice. Well, Miles does, Miles is the donkey. He doesn’t see it, Miles babe, you like her. Just like you liked Rachel. He goes into these relationships and he has a hard time being honest with the people around him and with his feelings. Just tell her, everyone knows. You are lying. You are a lying boy. All these people are out here, lying. And then the whole Rachel thing took forever and it wasn’t a real build-up it was just so frustrating. Then we find out and it is as if I have been pushed off a cliff. Just ugly crying all the way through. I was so angry at Rachel yet so sad for her. I understand and sympathize that she never visited, that she never rang him. But this boy has been living with this trauma for six years. He has felt every day that it was his fault that his family fell apart. Honestly, I know why Rachel couldn’t but her mum could have his dad even. Why did no one tell this boy it wasn’t his fault? Every day he told himself that it was his fault and that he ruined her life. He isn’t living life he is just going through the motions and I never identified so much with someone on such a deep level. Coleen Hoover is so good at describing the way trauma can manifest in your heart. Both he and Rachel get better separate from each other. The idea is that every day after a while if you let it you can enjoy good things. You do good things. You haven’t been crying, you haven’t been sad until one day there are just sad moments within a happy life instead of happy moments within a sad life. This way I feel about this book is very personal for me. The ending was nice, I was so happy for Miles that he was happy. Tate is nice, she is lovely she needs some friends but she is good, overall I liked her. But I love Miles, I am so happy that in the end, he is happy.

This book did make me apprehensive to read the other book as this was so emotional thus I decided to read a few others in between. I do feel that you have to be careful with her books, if you have gone through things such as infant death you might not want to read this book. I do think it is important to buy books cautiously. Overall, it was no disappointment and it taught me some great lessons. I do want to say, this is, in my opinion, an adult book for adults that deals with adult themes. If you are a young girl, this isn’t the book for you.

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